Do you have a best friend? Have you ever made that promise that you’d always be there for your best friend? Unconditional, right? But let’s take a closer look at what we’re actually saying.
John 15:13-15 says that “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”
Are you willing to go those lengths for your “best” friend? I felt the need to discuss this topic because I’m feeling that the Bible’s definition versus our human definition of best friend is a little different. I also wanted to bring light to the subject because it’s always good practice to be mindful of what you say out of your mouth and paying attention to your actions. As a Christian you are constantly under a microscope being examined to find your flaws.
I’m actually going through a situation now with a friend of mine that I’ve know for over a decade. I felt that writing this blog would help with my healing process. I’ll briefly explain the situation:
My “best friend” and I have known each other for a long time. There is nothing that we wouldn’t do for each other. Recently, he became very distant and started treating me very unfairly. He wouldn’t answer my calls, he’d act funny toward me, and he even kind of ditched me one night on an outing with some mutual friends of ours. Well, through a sister at the church that I fellowship at (Go JLM!!!), I learned that he was acting funny because he has a new female friend. I’m guessing one that he has a romantic interest in. When I asked this sister why he felt the need to hide something so small like that from me, she informed me that he didn’t want me to be devastated and backslide. I was actually hurt by that comment. It didn’t matter to me that he had a new female friend; I’m happy for him. I’ve been there through most of his girlfriends. I was hurt because I felt like he was more caught up on himself. He extended himself to me and retracted himself without a moments notice. The part that really took the cake was that he didn’t even bother coming to me and telling me. To this day he still hasn’t approached me. He told everyone else around me. I have to admit that this cut deep.
I’ve been dealing with this situation for about three weeks now. I still love my friend very much and I forgive him, but I have to admit there is still a little residue of hurt there. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails…” So, I had to sit back and do a self-examination of myself and my emotions. I realize that my emotions are valid, but I can’t sit in them too long. Ecclesiastes 3 says “there is a time for everything…” So, just like “there is a time to weep, there is also a time to laugh.” No time for self-pity ladies and gentleman. I have to face the facts that my “best friend” is what he is: HUMAN. As I sit here writing, I realize that if he cannot come to me, then I should take the initiative. He is not just my “best friend”, but also my brother in Christ. Christ commands us to love. How can I love you if I’m not speaking to you?
Breaking all of this down and reading it back to myself, I realize that the human perspective of friendship and the Bibles is in fact different. Human relationships tend to have stipulations. For example: I love you, BUT if you do this we can’t be friends anymore. There is even a parable about it in Luke 11:5-10. It states:
“Then he said, "Imagine what would happen if you went to a friend in the middle of the night and said, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread. An old friend traveling through just showed up and I don't have a thing on hand. The friend answers from his bed “Don't bother me. The door's locked; my children are all down for the night; I can't get up to give you anything.” But let me tell you, even if he won't get up because he's a friend, if you stand your ground, knocking and waking all the neighbors, he'll finally get up and get you whatever you need.
"Here's what I'm saying:
Ask and you'll get;
Seek and you'll find;
Knock and the door will open.”
- The Message
The “friend” only answered the door because of the persistence of the other friend. But Jesus is saying, ask and it’s yours, seek and you’ll find it, and knock and I’ll open the door NO MATTER WHAT TIME, NO MATTER THE SITUATION. Christ’s love has NO stipulations. He loves us unconditionally. He IS the ultimate true friend because he DID lay his life down for ours, and I thank God for that.
Brothers and Sisters, what I’m trying to say is this: sometimes we say things and we have good intentions, but we have to watch exactly what we are saying. If you would lay your life down for your best friend, then fine, praise God; that’s Christ’s love right there, but be mindful of the even the small things you say to your friends. If you tell your friend that you’re there for them no matter what, then be there for them no matter what. NO STIPULATIONS. We are all human. We should love as Christ loves. But also be mindful about seasonal people('nother blog for another time...lol). The very person that you are upset with may have only been intended to be in your life temporarily, so always pray on it. It’s all about being there for one another and encouraging each other in all the things of Christ.
Let me close out in prayer:
“Heavenly Father, I come before you Lord just saying thank you, Father. Thank you, Father for ALL of the “best friends” out there, Lord. God, I pray that if anyone is having an issue with their “best friend”, Lord, that you help them heal from it and that they continue to embrace their friend in love. Father I pray that this blog touches someone who’s reading, Father. Father God, if a situation ever arises between friends, please bring into remembrance James 1:19. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. Lord I pray that we let go of any grudges that we are carrying and any bitterness that we may be harboring in our hearts, Lord. Please remove anything from us that is not You. And let us all strive to encourage one another in Your ways, Oh Gracious God. Thank you for everything you’ve done in our lives, everything thing that you are doing, and everything that is to come. In your Holy name I pray. Amen”
Feel free to comment or leave topics to discuss. I appreciate any feedback.
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Be Blessed!!!
Until next time…
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